Christmas!

More Photos

Denver Children's Museum

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Playing Vet

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Oenophile in Training (just sniffing, folks!)

Introducing...

Darwin James Yao Killin!!

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We finally decided on a name! We'd actually been calling him Darwin ("beloved friend") throughout China, but didn't want to make the announcement on the blog until our adoption announcement cards were mailed.

Where did "Darwin" come from? Well, we had originally chosen it for Sebastian, but several people in our families protested, so we grudgingly abandoned it in favor of a more traditional name. However, when I first saw Yao Yu's picture, I thought, "hey, that's Darwin!". Sebastian has known his brother as Darwin ever since, and for that reason alone, we felt that we couldn't change it after meeting Darwin in China. Sebastian would have been SO confused! But, to be fair to Darwin, we wanted to also give him a more traditional name in "James", which is from my father's side of the family, and a Chinese name. This way, he can choose, when he is ready, to go by an unusual English name, his Chinese name, a common English name, or his first two initials, DJ, among other options.

I've been AWOL from my blog for awhile now due to the utter lack of sleep, which has been compounded by the fact that we have all been sick since we returned from China. Driving eight hours to Denver for Thanksgiving did not help the state of our health, unfortunately. Funnily enough, Darwin remains the healthiest of everyone!

We still had a great time seeing family that we hadn't seen in several years (shame on us!), and experienced our first snow of the season (and Darwin's first snow ever).

At home things are going as well as can be expected. Fighting over toys is almost constant, but it is getting better, bit by bit. It still seems like this transition is hardest on the three of us, and that Darwin is adjusting beautifully! He is even sleeping well now, with only infrequent waking during the night, and mostly he'll go back to sleep by himself. We still feel like there is a stranger in the house, most of the time. We are definitely bonding, but it is progressing much more slowly than I had expected. For example, I automatically hug and kiss Sebastian many times throughout the day, telling him I love him, but with Darwin, I often forget. It feels awkward and strange. If I catch myself, I force myself to hug and kiss him, but it doesn't at all come naturally. He is one of the cutest kids alive (how did I end up with two of those?!), but even when he does something unbelievably adorable, I find myself thinking objectively, "wow, that was really, really freakin' cute!" but it doesn't affect me emotionally at all. I don't feel an irresistible impulse to hug and kiss him on the spot, like I would with Sebastian, or even with my pets. I don't feel anything. I know it will come eventually, I just hope it doesn't affect Darwin emotionally before then. I am not good at faking anything, and since kids are particularly astute at detecting when adults are faking, I feel even more uncomfortable when I am forcing myself to express feelings I do not have.

So that's where we are, and here are a few photos:

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One Week Home

Here are some photos from the last week. Sorry I haven't updated more frequently, but sleep has been an issue! Yao Yu has been waking up screaming several times a night, until we bring him into bed with us. Because both boys are very congested from colds, they have not been sleeping well, anyway. Last night was actually the first night that I got a good night's sleep. Sebastian woke once, but that was it!

Otherwise things are going well. The boys nap well (only for an hour, though, so they sleep at night!), and we go to the park by our house for an hour every day, with the dogs. Yao Yu, like Sebastian, loves to play outside. We do have frequent squabbles over toys. Sebastian is used to sharing because of pre-school, but not used to sharing his own toys, and Yao Yu clearly is used to getting whatever he wants. He often snatched toys away from Sebastian, and of course, he wants to play with everything Sebastian is playing with. Good thing Santa will be coming soon to bring toys meant for two!

Yao Yu still eats a lot. Much more than Sebastian, and more frequently. His favorite word is "more", and sometimes he will take us by the hand into the kitchen to show us which cupboard he wants food from. It's quite extraordinary how resilient, bold, and nonchalant he is about his new life. He figures everything out immediately, and isn't afraid to try anything.

Tripp and I still feel like we are babysitting someone else's child most of the time, but some things Yao Yu does are just so darn cute, that he definitely tugs at our heartstrings. Yesterday morning, for example, he put his arm around me and kissed me when he woke up. (When he first came to us, it was clear he didn't know how to kiss- how sad is that?!) We'll get the parental feeling sooner or later, we know. Right now we are working so hard to get around the language barrier (Yao Yu will finally sit still for a whole story now), and trying to express affection even when we aren't particularly feeling it. It turns out you get frustrated much more quickly when you don't feel that motherly connection, so it's quite a challenge. Especially because Yao Yu LOVES testing limits. He does know what "no touch" means, because Tripp has been working diligently on that, but it doesn't always work.

Tomorrow we have a two-hour car ride- hopefully no meltdowns! We are planning to drive to Denver for Thanksgiving, so this will be a little test-drive. I'm helping transport some homeless kitties to new adoptive and foster homes.

Enjoy the pics!

Jen

Cuddling with Mama on the lounge-around
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Troublesome twosome in the dryer!

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"Peek-a-coo!" (Apparently Chinese for Peek-a-boo)

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Trying on Mama's hat

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Storytime

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Sebastian and his best friend

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Puckering up for a smooch with Baba

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Is it time to eat the pumpkin yet?

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Photos

Sleeping on Daddy in the van in GZ

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This crib not CPSC (Consumer Product Safety Commisison) Approved!

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At the White Swan Hotel

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Red Couch Photos

(for non-adoptive parents: the White Swan has traditionally been the hotel where most adoptive parents stay while in Guangzhou. This hotel's red couches have become the traditional place for adoptive families and travel groups to take photos of their children, who are usually dressed in Chinese outfits for the occasion. I was determined to have red couch photos of our own, so we walked over, and took some "action" shots.)

Don't you love Sebastian's Thomas the Train socks?

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At Guangzhou Airport, ready to go!

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Some brotherly love on the bus that took us to our plane

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On the plane

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Moment of citizenship!

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At home

Sebastian rubbed Yao Yu's hair all the way around the park last night

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Already studying piano...grandma will be SO proud!
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I want to have my truck and ride it, too!

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Home!

Having only 3 full days in Guangzhou meant that every one was chock-full of activity. We did half of our shopping while waiting for the US election results; Mom checking in by cell phone with Tripp, it seemed like every 30 seconds, to see what was happening, since he stayed behind at the hotel.

Our swearing-in ceremony at the US Consulate on Thursday was quite anti-climactic. We arrived 40 minutes early, so the boys just ran around and around the chairs in the waiting area, occasionally stopping to play with some toys. Eventually some other families arrived, but the other children were all very sedate, and seemed nervous. Yao Yu and Sebastian were oblivious. Finally someone came to talk to us, and said lots of irrelevant things (like how he came to be in this job), then asked us all to swear that the information we gave in our paperwork was true. That was it! None of the "do you still want to adopt this child? why?..." that I was expecting. We never got "interviewed" in China in any way. Maybe that happens to other people at Civil Affairs while in their child's province, but it didn't happen to us. All we did that day was sign here, here, here, here, etc.

Anyway, Tripp started feeling like he was getting Strep, so he took the last two days easy. In fact, we were all feeling under the weather the last 2 days. The air quality in Guangzhou was BAD. The worst I remember ever seeing anywhere. Our agency's in-China coordinator said that you can get a sore throat from the air pollution, and I did. But now it's devloped into a full-blown cold, as have Sebastian and Yao Yu.

I managed to squeeze in a visit to Shamian Island for our red couch photo Friday morning before we left. Can you imagine how hard it was getting two two-year old boys to sit still for a photo? We did more shopping on the island, mostly for gifts for people that we had either forgotten or not managed to get elsewhere. Then the boys went back for naps, while I went out again with our guide to the post office to find some commemorative stamp collections. It took a very long time for various reasons, not the least annoying of which was the hotel's refusal to change a traveler's check that I signed in front of them! They only wanted pre-signed checks! So I took the elevator up one level, sat on the floor, and signed the dang checks, then took them back down, and got them changed. Unbelievable! Oh, and don't let me forget that I had compiled a 1-gallon bag of unused, unopened medicines and other various supplies, and about 30 diapers, that I wanted to donate to other adoptive families. I had heard that the Victory Hotel has a designated space for such items, but when we got there, they wouldn't accept them because we weren't guests! No use telling them that I didn't want to TAKE any of the items, just LEAVE some. Nope. Well, I happened to know that there was another family with our agency that was currently staying at the Victory. We called, but they were out at that moment. We left the items with a nearby shop for their guide to pick up to give to them, to give to the hotel. Needless to say, I was REALLY ready to leave China at this point.

Our flights home were actually not bad at all. It turns out that Yao Yu is one of those kids that is completely lulled to sleep by taxiing down the runway. On all 3 of our flights, he was asleep before we left the ground. He (and Sebastian) slept 9 of the 12.5 hours from Guangzhou to LA, and he also slept the entire flight from LA to Albuquerque.

We got home around 1am, and although they had trouble getting to sleep, the boys did actually sleep in their own cribs in their own room for a few hours. Yao Yu actually slept until 8:45 am! Tripp and I felt like death until naptime, and we all slept fpr 2 hours. Post-nap we felt more near-death; a definite improvement.

Tripp's parents came over the meet their new grandson at 4pm. Yao Yu didn't want them to touch him, which was interesting.

Everything has gone extremely well, still! All day today the boys played, and Sebastian hasn't gotten too upset about Yao Yu playing with all his toys, and Yao Yu has been in heaven having so many toys, but not at all overwhelmed by it. He even likes the dogs and cats, though he hated being licked until he saw Sebastian encouraging the dogs to lick him. He is just easy-going, but tough and resilient. A good combination of personality traits for adjusting to life changes like this. He hasn't missed a beat in his toilet-training. No regression at all. We are so lucky!

We've decided that we will go to Denver for Thanksgiving after all, so that some of my extended family can meet our kids (and we can meet theirs!).

I'll post photos of the last few days tomorrow, but right now I am being summoned to see the best of SNL presidential skits.

Jen

Guangzhou

The Temple of the Six Banyan Trees

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Yuntai Park

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brothers

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Rabbit Restaurant

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First Swim

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Guangzhou Restaurant

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